Still Sad...

Wanted to just add another quick blog post about Patches because I'm still having a hard time dealing with the fact that she is no longer with us here on Earth. It saddens me to no end. I know this will get easier, but I'm still struggling with the sadness that a companion and friend I had for twenty years is gone.

I keep thinking about all the things I remember and loved about Patches. I loved her cute white tip at the end of her tail. We always called her Target Tail. I loved the fact that I taught her how to give kisses when we first got her and she never forgot how her entire life. It was probably annoying to her to learn how to do this because she relentlessly heard, "Give me a kiss and I'll let you go." I constantly told her that until she actually would lick my face, once she learned it I would ask for a kiss and she would do it. I loved her cute patterns on her fur that reminded us of a little cow. Believe it or not, she used to resemble one. She was fairly plump throughout her life. We loved her the same though, thick or thin. I remember when we used to have a very long hallway in our home and she would run down it so fast it would sound like a galloping horse. We would always just smile and laugh when she would take off out of no where. I loved that she could suck the water and color right out of watermelon. It was her favorite! We would leave it out on the counter and she would lick it until it was white, but she would never eat the actual fruit. She also loved anything made by Chef Boyardee, even though my mom would get mad when I would give her some. She loved milk and ice cream VERY much. My dad and the rest of us would be upstairs and he would pour a glass of milk and even when Patches got hard of hearing in her old age, she some how KNEW he had poured that milk (probably because she smelled it) and she would come racing upstairs hoping to tip that glass over to just get a little lick. Thankfully, my parents knew her time was coming and they were a little more lenient towards the end and would let her have a little ice cream, milk and other goodies here and there. I loved that whenever something was bothering me it seemed as though she knew. If I was outwardly upset she was right by my side. I always found that comforting. She was a wonderful and loyal little girl. I loved that she would demand your attention at times. If she wanted you to pet her she would walk on top of you and nudge her head right into your hand as if to say, "Uh, hello?! Do you NOT realize I want a little head rub." If you tried to ignore the first few times she would eventually climb up towards your face and kind-of smack you. It never hurt, but it was so funny. She had such a funny little personality. We really knew her so well after spending so many years with her. I was telling my mom yesterday that I actually am having a hard time remembering life before her. I can definitely do it, but most of my memories were after we brought her home. I will never forget that day and I will never forget all the wonderful times we had with her. I truly believe she is up in Heaven getting all the head rubs she wants and is looking over us. Lately I've been struggling with the fact that we ultimately ended her life, but my family knows she probably wouldn't have made it through the night and if we had waited she would have left this Earth suffering. My mom has had to constantly remind me that what we did was out of love and was the best thing for her. I think deep down I do know that, but it still hurts. The only thing that makes me feel better about this is the fact that we were by her side until the very end. Until the very last breath. I did that for her out of love because I know she would have done the same for me. If I were on my death bed, she would have been on it right next to me.

I will never forget her and I don't think any other pet we have will ever live up to her. I love Nalah and Calvin, but Patches will always have a huge part of my heart. It will never need to be filled because although she is gone that piece of my heart remains with her. I find that writing this blog is helping me deal with my feelings as silly as some people may think they are. I do not find them funny or odd or over the top at all. These are MY feelings. I understand some people don't love their pets like my family does. I'm happy to admit that we love them like family. We always said she was my sister and there was not ONE holiday, birthday, graduation or other important event that went by where I didn't have a gift or card from the cats. They truly were family. God knows this about me because that is the way He created me. I wouldn't have it any other way. I find comfort in the fact that He knows I am struggling with this and He will help me get through this, along with my family. I know my mom and dad are also sad about this, so I know I can always talk to them when I am feeling down. Each day will get easier, but it will take time. I find it completely normal that this may take a while because it was, in fact, twenty years! That is longer than I have known any of my friends and her love was COMPLETELY unconditional. That is what I love so much about pets. They love you no matter what.

I do have to say that being with Ethan during the day definitely helps me. His little smile just lights up my life. He always enjoyed looking at Patches because of her intense black and white pattern of her fur. I hope he can love Nalah like I love Patches. I think he might, I have a feeling he is going to be a sweet little boy with a big heart for animals...just like his momma.

Here are a few pictures I found on my phone and old computer. I still find it hard to look at her pictures because her death is so fresh in my mind. I hope one day I can look at them and be happy and remember those memories in those pictures.

<3 Bryana

Those of you who read this entire thing, thanks. I know some of you may not understand the love and hurt I feel for her, but just understand that it's who I am. These feelings are real.

Forever Loved, Never Forgotten

Patches Lee Goodman

July 1991 - June 2011

Loved; Forever and Always

Rest in Peace, Princess Patchy

Today was a very sad day for my family; Patches passed away after almost twenty wonderful years. I always knew this day would come, and in the back of my mind, knew that it was getting closer and closer. At the same time, I kind-of thought it might not come because she had been with us for so long. She seems to encompass the ability to live forever. Unfortunately, as stupid as it sounds, I learned the hard way that no one lives forever.

I remember the day we got Patches. We drove to a little house on a farm where she was waiting for us. She was so cute with her little pink nose. I fell in love immediately. We brought her home in a little cardboard box and I will always remember her peeking her little nose out of it the entire drive back to our house. She was so tiny.

If I had to describe her in one word it would be "sweet" because that is exactly what she was. She was such a sweet little girl. She was feisty when she was a kitten, but grew sweeter and sweeter with age. She just had the ability to make you smile and feel loved. I will miss that about her. I will truly miss that.

My parents and I loved her dearly. Below are just a few of the fond memories or quirks I loved about our sweet baby girl...

Patches loved to drink water out of the shower. She would meow loudly until you would turn the water on to a slow drip so she could get a nice, fresh drink of water.

She was definitely known for throwing up, a lot. My family and I always found it so funny because she always seemed to put it in the funniest places. The funniest, on my dad's putting green. He has one set up in the basement of their home and she would always seem to find that and puke on it as if to say, "Hey, quit all this golfing and feed us."

Patches was a little fire cracker in her day and we will never forget the time she beat up our neighbors dog, Crackers. He would run over onto our deck and taunt her because he knew that she couldn't get outside. It seriously drove her nuts, but one day she happened to get out and where did she go? Straight over to our neighbors house and she definitely got Crackers back. She was up on her hind legs slapping Crackers faster than you could even count. I think she was pretty proud of herself when she came back home.

As she grew older she seemed to always be hungry. She never gained any weight, but could eat as if she were a 20 pound cat. The funniest part of this is that she would situate herself in front of my dad so that he would have to look at her with those piercing green eyes of hers. She wouldn't go away until he fed her. I love the fact that my dad had such a soft heart for her. He would always make jokes about how she drove him crazy when she wanted to be fed all the time, but what would he do? He would get up everytime and say, "Okay Little Patchy Cat, I'll feed you ONE more time." This went on until the day she passed. He loved that little cat with his whole heart. I love that about him.

She was a VERY smart cat as well. She could pull open doors with her little paw and outsmart my parents at times. I love the story of when her and Calvin, my parents other cat, would team up together to try and get my parents out of bed around 3:00 in the morning to bed fed. My parents obviously didn't want to get woken up this early so they would try and ignore the fact that they were jumping on the bed, walking over their faces, scratching at the doors and doing anything else in their power to get them up. Well, one morning my mom got so annoyed that she starting tossing pillows from the bed at them to get them to stop scratching at the door. Patches, being the smarty pants that she was, decided that she would then go to the OTHER side of the door to do this. This way, when my mom through pillows, they couldn't hit her. I think my parents eventually got up because she was just too cute.

I could go on forever and ever with memories of this sweet little girl. She will forever and always be my favorite pet. She knew me almost my entire life, up until now, and that definitely counts for something in my book. She was there for me through thick and thin. She always knew when something was bothering me because when I would cry or be upset she was always right by my side. Through every break up, bad day and beyond.

"Patches, today was one of the hardest days of our lives. Watching you slowly drift off was something I never wanted to see but I did it for you. I didn't want you to be alone when you went to Heaven because I knew you deserved so much more. I kissed your until your last breath and mom gave you a little head rub like you always loved. I imagine that was the best way for you to go, you loved your head rubs. We will never forget you, Patches, and I know you will be waiting for us in Heaven when we get there. I love you and I hope this sadness will pass soon so I can just remember the happy times. As these tears roll down my face, realize that you made such an impact on our lives. You are, and always will be, the best little cat in the world."

If anyone is reading this, I just ask for your prayers that this gets easier for me. I know the pain will never fully go away, but I have a very big heart for animals and especially my own. I'm grieving as though I've lost a human family member and this is not easy.

Bryana

We're Still Here...

Wow. It has been over a month since I blogged. I thought I would have more time to devote to this, but having a little one at home leaves me with little time for myself. I am more than okay with that though. Ethan has filled our hearts and lives and we wouldn't have it any other way. We love him more than words can say. He is the best blessing and will always be.

He is now three months old and will be four months on June 24th! I can't believe how quickly this time has flown by. I'm excited to see what the future holds, but at the same time I am a bit sad because he is growing up so fast. Luckily I am a FREAK about taking photographs of him and have over 1100 on my iPhone and about 1000 on my Nikon. I plan on making a printed photo book of his first year. Below on this post you will find a bunch of random pictures of him throughout the past months.

Ethan is doing great. He has hit most of his milestones and we are still waiting for a few. He is great at tummy time and holding his head and chest up on his elbows, he loves to coo and talk with us, he rolls from his tummy to his back, he sits up with the help of us or pillows, he tracks and is VERY observant and we have also heard him belly laugh when he saws himself in a mirror and we are patiently (kind-of) waiting for him to do it again. We are still waiting for him to bat and grab toys, but we think he is on the verge of doing it. I realize he is entering into the age where he will be doing some really neat things soon and it is so fun to see him do something new for the first time and to just watch him enjoy his little life.

Ethan's legs are getting better and better as well. He had to be seen by an Orthopedist because Dr. Naik noticed that his legs just weren't stretching out on their own like they should have been. Dr. Wintersteen x-rayed his legs and said that everything looked normal and that she thought it was just a matter of stretching those tendons and ligaments. I have been stretching Ethan's legs for about six weeks and they have definitely gotten better, but I can tell that they are still fairly tight. He has an appointment next week and if they are not where she would like them, she is going to put his legs in braces to help them along. I am praying that if they do need to be braced that this does not put him behind when it comes to sitting up, crawling or walking. We just ask for prayers for Ethan that his little legs get to where they need to be as quickly as painlessly as possible. I will update next week after his appointment. We are also praying that he may not even need the braces, but we will see. It is all in God's hands and we will roll with the punches.

In sleeping news....Ethan is AMAZING. He is sleeping through the night and he is in his own room in his crib. He has finally gotten into a great routine and it works for both of us so well. He sleeps between 8 and 10 hours at night and has even went over 10 hours a few times. It is great that he finally figured it all out and it just took some patience from us to help him get into it. One other prayer that we are asking for is that if Ethan does have to have his legs braced, we pray that it will not disrupt his new routine too badly. I'm hoping that we are able to take these off when he naps and goes to bed, but we will do what is best for our little boy.

In other great news, Josh got the job he was hoping and praying for. He is now working at Ashley Furniture Industries as a programmer. We are so thankful to God for putting this job in Josh's path and we are so proud that Josh did so well at the interviews and really wowed his panels, yes I said PANELS, of interviewers. We knew he would. So far he really enjoys his job and he said it's pretty intense, but I know he will do great. They will be so happy they hired him. We're hoping that after having him work there for about a year that we can start looking into buying or building a home! Very exciting.

"May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed." - Psalm 20:4

The rest of this post is just pictures of our favorite little man in the whole world! Enjoy.

God Bless -

Bryana, Josh and Ethan